Issue No. 11 | April 21, 2026 | Dr. Jacqueline Ashley, PCC
Are You Seeing the Full Picture?
Most leaders can list ten weaknesses before naming two strengths, and believe that’s self-awareness.
The inner work of emotional self-awareness
FEEL DEEPLY
Today’s the deadline and you’ve been trying to figure this out for weeks.
You’re staring at a blank strengths section of your self-evaluation.
What do people say I’m good at? Why is this so hard?
Hmmm, you type a line then delete it. You’re back at square one. Nothing.
You had to do this last year, too.
Your “areas of improvement?”—didn’t take more than 15 minutes.
The thing is…you know how to read the room, are a good listener, care about people, and deliver what they need. All that, but you can’t see what you do well. No problem, though, for you to name your colleague’s strengths.
Procrastinating on your strengths isn’t really about the self-evaluation. It’s you having to make a case for your own value—not someone else—you.
THINK CRITICALLY
Consider what you’re doing with that self-evaluation when “areas for improvement” is filled in, but the strengths section, still a blank.
Ever been to an art museum? When you’re standing six inches from a painting, what do you see? A jumble of messy brush strokes and dots of color.
Now…step back. From the right distance, they’re part of a composition that works together. Yes, the “messiness” is still there, but now there’s more that you weren’t seeing before.
That painting is you.
Indexing on every weakness makes you feel self-aware. Doing that keeps you from seeing yourself realistically.
The distortion is worse for leaders whose identities are overly scrutinized. Why? The system tends to see deficits first, so contributions are harder to recognize. It’s one reason there’s a gender pay gap. A version of self-awareness that’s only about what’s wrong is a distortion that started long before you.
Unnamed strengths, although raw material, can be shaped. When you learn to use one or more in a way people don’t expect, like a question no one thought to ask, or a fresh angle on a problem, it’s what Northeastern University professor Laura Huang calls “Delight.” It earns attention, but you can’t offer what you haven’t claimed.
LEAD POWERFULLY
What you’ve learned to look at influences what you can recognize in yourself.
If you lead with Consistency, you want the same standard to apply to everyone. Now, if you belong to a marginalized group, you already know that the bar is unfairly set higher. That’s why you work twice as hard for the same thing. If your colleague’s self-evaluation was mostly weaknesses, you’d say it was lopsided. But that’s what you’re doing to yourself. Though the system may not have modeled this for you, it’s important to treat yourself with the same fairness you expect for others.
If Positivity is a strength, you’ve got contagious energy and you naturally see things on the bright side. Your generosity with praise means you have no trouble identifying your colleague’s strengths, but are less generous about your own. When the environment you’re in can’t seem to reflect your upside, trust yourself.
If Ideation is a signature theme, you find concepts and how they connect to be fascinating. Recalibrating your self-awareness might be more appealing to you as a concept than as a practice, but it won’t land personally if you keep it in your head. Recalibration allows you to stop theorizing about the painting itself and see it from the right distance.
The Integration
You’re a work-in-progress. The self-evaluation is just a dot among many. So is how you advocated for your team. The things that matter most to you, like time with loved ones or making a difference in the world, are the brush strokes. Your life and leadership are all on the canvas. It’s just a matter of what you pay the greatest attention to.
Catch yourself when you’re overly focused on what’s wrong, then step back slowly and intentionally while you allow the full composition to come into view. Your strengths, your shortcomings, and everything in between—they look as they realistically are—from the right distance.
The next time you have to fill out that form, start first with what you do well. It might be uncomfortable, but that’s the practice of face it ‘til you ace it.
This Week's Momentum
📌 What is one contribution you consistently undervalue—and what would shift if you claimed it fully?
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