Welcome! This weekly newsletter is for leaders who want to build influence that doesn't depend on authority. Each issue reframes leadership challenges through emotional intelligence, critical thinking, and strengths.

May's theme: Lead From What's Yours

Issue No. 16 | May 26, 2026 | Dr. Jacqueline Ashley, PCC

The Cost of Your Normal

Leverage your drive. Don’t impose it.

The outer work of achievement orientation

FEEL DEEPLY

You’ve been at it for four hours straight preparing for the board when your most senior direct report walks into your office. She succinctly lays out the trade-offs for three vendor options for the Q2 platform decision. You ask for her recommendation and she says, “It’s whatever you want. They all work.” She doesn’t say more, even though you wait for her to.

Six months ago, she would’ve given you a strong opinion and advocated for it. She rubs her eyes and you’ve noticed that for weeks now, her voice sounds thinner than before. You disagreed with her last two recommendations. And you realize it’s been months since she’s taken any time off.

If you’re a member of a marginalized group, your drive to achieve was shaped by a system that made you feel like you had to outwork everyone else. Because of this, it made you resilient, even in rooms that weren’t built for you. The problem is that you can unknowingly impose this standard on those that report to you, especially the ones with the least room to push back.

Last week was about how achievement orientation can become an overextension of identity. This week looks at how just a strong achievement orientation, not overextension, can outwardly impact what a team believes they are expected to live up to.

THINK CRITICALLY

Someone else’s body, mood, and behavior just showed you the effect of what you consider normal for you: your drive for getting things done. This achievement orientation of yours built your career. It helped you get to where you are, but the drive isn’t the problem.

How you’re wired isn’t how everyone else is. Your level of resilience can cause depletion for others. Your team isn't like you. Your pace becomes the pressure they perform under, and your drive becomes their path to burnout.

Without other emotional intelligence competencies to balance it out, achievement orientation becomes transactional. For the team, it looks like deliverables without genuine contribution. If their ideas are dismissed or ignored, no one will bother to share their recommendations. With leaders who only care about deliverables, there aren’t any growth conversations.

​Burnout is an organizational problem. It has three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced personal accomplishment. It can look like fatigue, irritability, sleep troubles, apathy, or changes in eating habits, along with other signs.

Achievement orientation needs other EI competencies like emotional self-control as well as adaptability, positive outlook, and the competencies within social awareness and relationship management to temper it effectively.

LEAD POWERFULLY

If Individualization is your signature theme, your gift is figuring out how different people can work well together. Use that to recognize the unique qualities of each person on your team so as to avoid imposing your own stamina for achievement. Practice the pause to disrupt the assumption that someone else can or would want to keep up with you. See what’s actually in front of you, including what the system expects of someone outside of work.

If Belief is a strength, your purpose is defined by core values. What really matters to the work? Because a list of deliverables is transactional, your team will only prioritize what you measure and nothing more. Instead, show up with curiosity and be willing to listen. Good leadership is relational. Consider how the system shapes their beliefs about work, and find out from them what makes doing it worthwhile.

One of my strengths is Learner. If it’s one of yours, too, you know the process of learning matters more than outcome. With that understanding, make room for conversations about their growth and development. A development list isn’t the same as a deliverables list. Any conversation on deliverables is already a system expectation. Championing someone’s development and success is a big part of good leadership, so find the time it deserves for growth to be on the agenda.

The Integration

Consider how your drive affects your team. The system rewards how you achieve, which is what sets the conditions your team operates inside. As a leader, you’re the highest leverage point in their work world, so mitigate the effect of what the system rewards with self- and social awareness (e.g., emotional self-awareness, empathy) and self- and relationship management (e.g., emotional self-control, coach and mentor). Emotional intelligence takes practice—lots of it.

This Week's Momentum

📌 Pick the person whose wiring you assume matches yours. Watch for one burnout sign. Ask them what they need.

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