Issue No. 3 | February 10, 2026 | Dr. Jacqueline Ashley
What Perfectionism Is Really Costing You, Part 1
Perfectionism is how we torture ourselves when we think we're not good enough.
The inner work of trusting yourself
FEEL DEEPLY
You review the deck and tell yourself, "One more time," which becomes many. You step away, come back with fresh eyes, catch something else to adjust—repeating until the deadline forces your hand.
Maybe the opposite is true. You procrastinate. Fear of not doing it well enough keeps you from starting. Or your perfectionism has left you with nothing in the tank, and avoidance is all you have left.
Different behaviors. Same root.
The first scenario describes me. I'm a recovering perfectionist and still struggle with this, especially as a writer. How many times do you think I rewrote this? More times than I'd like to admit.
Beneath it are real concerns: you care about quality and your reputation matters.
For some, these aren't just concerns—they're survival strategies. Marginalized leaders face prove-it-again bias where mistakes carry heavier consequences. The system punishes imperfection unevenly.
Here's the real question: can you care about quality while also trusting yourself, even when the system makes that harder?
For the overdoer: Sleep suffers. Energy depletes. You tell yourself it's temporary. You never feel done or ready. What others call "good enough" feels like compromise.
For the procrastinator: Deadlines pile up. Guilt compounds. You spend more energy avoiding the thing than it would take to do it. Meanwhile, the window for your best work shrinks. That confirms the fear that started the cycle.
Both patterns share a cost: what you're NOT doing, which is time towards strategic thinking, relationships, and yourself.
Here's what's underneath both: a voice that says you can't be trusted to get it right.
THINK CRITICALLY
I must have high standards to not be mediocre.
If I run out of time, I can't be blamed for less-than-stellar quality.
What if neither is true?
The shift: The antidote isn't lowering your standards. It's self-compassion, which means treating yourself with the same understanding you'd offer someone you care about. It means recognizing that imperfection isn't failure. It's human. It means trusting that you are enough, even when your work isn't flawless.
Strive to excel without being perfect.
For the overdoer: You wouldn't tell a colleague to review the deck until 2 am. You'd tell them it's ready, and they need rest. Offer yourself the same trust.
For the procrastinator: You wouldn't shame a friend for being afraid to start. You'd acknowledge the fear and encourage them to begin anyway—imperfectly. Give yourself that same permission.
Try this: When you feel compelled to review one more time or delay another day, pause. Ask yourself: What would I tell someone I trust in this moment?
Then tell yourself the same thing.
LEAD POWERFULLY
Your strengths can help you build self-compassion to manage perfectionism. CliftonStrengths (aka StrengthsFinder) names 34. Here are three examples:
If Achiever is a dominant strength, you have a constant drive to accomplish. Every day starts at zero, and you need tangible wins to feel satisfied. For leaders who face prove-it-again bias, that drive intensifies because rest feels like falling behind. Trust that your effort today was enough, even without a finished product to prove it.
If you lead with Maximizer, excellence is your measure. You see what's good and want to make it great. When perfectionism takes hold, fascination with strengths becomes frustration with anything less. Not every leader gets to call their high standards "vision." Celebrate growth, not just outcomes. Your best today is still your best.
If Futuristic is a signature theme, you see the ideal so clearly it feels real. That vivid picture keeps pulling you forward. The gap between here and there can feel unbearable when the stakes are higher for you than for others. Start imperfectly. Each step moves you toward the future you see.
The Integration
Acknowledge what's underneath. The fear, the shame, the voice that says you're not enough—these show you care. Meet them with compassion, not criticism.
Challenge the assumption that perfectionism protects you. It doesn't. It keeps you from trusting yourself, from evolving, from rest. Good leaders grow, and growth requires imperfection.
This starts with how you lead yourself. When you treat yourself with trust and grace, you build the capacity to extend that to others. Inner work first.
This Week's Momentum
What will you call done, or start imperfectly, this week?
Face it 'til you ace it—sharing is the practice. Post on LinkedIn.
